30 July 2018

More wild carrots, and a garden party

Here are a few more wild carrot photos. Meanwhile, yesterday we were invited to a party by our part-time, summertime neighbors who live nine or ten months out of the year up in Blois. It didn't seem appropriate to take my camera with me...

B, now 88, and M., three or four years younger, were to become our first friends in the Saint-Aignan area. When we arrived here and started getting moved into our house in June 2003, they drove down from Blois, where they live most of the year, to begin their summer stay in the country. M had heard about us, and she came over immediately, rang the bell, and invited us to their house for a glass of wine and a get-to-know-you session that first evening. That's the kind of people they are. M is especially energetic and outgoing.
Over the past 15 years, M and B have always included us in the Bastille Day, wedding anniversary, birthday, and other parties they throw. Sometimes, as on their 50th wedding anniversary wingding 10 or 12 years ago, there have been more than 100 people in attendance. Yesterday, there were probably 30 or 35 people there — just the family and us. M and B have seven children, by the way, countless grandchildren, and now a good number of great-grandchildren.

Yesterday's gathering may well have marked the end of an era.
M told us that she is turning the keys to their summer house over to their eldest daughter, who also lives in Blois. M said she can't take care of it any more, and B is soon going to have to stop driving (Blois is 25 miles north of here). To mark the occasion (and M's birthday), they also invited another old friend of ours, G, a woman who is also 88 years old and who seems to be fading fast. It was good to spend an afternoon with her, and I drove her home (the other side of the village) when she was ready to go. I think the crowd and commotion confused and exhausted her.

It's amazing to have lived here long enough to see all this happen, and to have been "adopted" by such people. The afternoon party was outdoor drinks, nibbles, a full lunch of salads and cold sliced meats, plus wine and desserts. Six of M's and B's sons and daughters were present, with their spouses. There were many, many small children there, running in every direction. It was so nice to be included. The whole afternoon reminded me of a 2008 film I discovered recently and have watched several times. It's called L'Heure d'été ("Summer Hours") and is about the sudden, unexpected death of a widow who is the matriarch of a large, prominent family like our neighbors' clan. What will the baby-boomer children decide do with the family house and its contents? It's sort of a new version of les anciens et les modernes — old ways of life fading, new ways of life being adopted. Some of the widow's sons and daughters don't even live in France, and don't intend to return. I can't do it justice, but it's a very poignant story and a film I'll watch many times, I'm sure. Some of my favorite actors are in it. France, like everywhere else, is really changing radically these days. Maybe that's always been the way of the world, but people move around more now than they used to. Borders have fallen... at least to some extent.

12 comments:

  1. Since borders are falling, walls are called for; ask "45" for advice! Sorry to hear Madame "pitting cherries" is not in good shape. Aging is a terrible process.

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    1. Yes, I was talking about la dame aux cerises. She is very deaf, and her teeth are so bad, she said, that she can't eat much. G is a woman whose father was a chauffeur for, and whose mother was a governess for the children of, the families that occupied the local châteaux back in the 1930s and '40s. She spent part of her childhood living at the château de Montpoupon, and she is a friend of the woman who still lives in the château de Saint-Aignan. G is an interesting and entertaining person, but it's hard to communicate with her now. She has lost a lot of weight, and some of M and B's children, who have known her for nearly 50 years, didn't even recognize her yesterday. I had to introduce G to them. (G didn't recognize them either...)

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    2. I’m really sorry for her, because I know all about being deaf, even when you wear so-called hearing aids! I’m so glad that I took care of my teeth when I was still in California and had a wonderful and affordable dentist in Mexico who beautifully crafted my dentures.

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    3. B is also deaf and his mind isn't good. Now that I'm getting close to 70 years old I'm observing and thinking about what the next 20 or 25 years might be like.

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    4. As Raminagrobis would say: Les ans en sont la cause!

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    5. As they say, old age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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    6. I saw that adage etched in a piece of wood at my dentist on 16th Street N.W. in Washington, D.C., a long time ago, it read, Age is a matter of mind, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter. How can it not matter when everything's falling apart, like borders?

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  2. Getting older is quite a trip! Sixteen years ago the Madame was about my age now. She must have had so much energy to raise all those children and give them all the joys of the good times in the summer house. You are a part of this family now. I bet the daughter will try to keep the good times going.
    We don't know what the future will bring, but let's play along and not worry too much about the changes. Bon courage...

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    1. The important thing, I guess, is to take care of yourself as best you can, so that you don't become a burden on others. As for our neighbor M, she not only raised all those children but from what I understand she actually raised her sisters and brothers. She was the oldest of eight, most of them girls. Her husband was the youngest of eight children, most of them boys. They both really are remarkable people, and we were so lucky to land here in this hamlet and be able to get to know them. I'll say another thing about M. She has a grandson who is gay and came out a few years ago. She told me she would never have thought it would be possible for him to have a good and happy life if she hadn't gotten to know Walt and me all those years ago.

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    2. Thanks for sharing the story about M's grandson. Getting to know you and Walt has benefited many people, Lewis and I included.

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  3. chm, please keep the name of that dentist on file...um, for a friend. One never knows when a resource might be needed. As for aging, I'm reminded of the Meryl Street/Goldie Hawn film where they are literally spackled and spray painted together: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycpEjbV4KRM

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    1. Hi D. Are you serious about the Mexican dentist? I can send you the information. He lives in Mexicali. If I'm not mistaken, he went to college in L.A.

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