Today, February 18, would have been my mother's 88th birthday. She left this world 15 days ago, felled by cancer. Mary Allen, as we knew her, always believed she would die young, because both her parents did. That turned out to be a wrong-headed notion. Eighty-eight is certainly a respectable age.
A "burn pile" of tree limbs, branches, and other yard trimmings on a neighbor's property
It will seem strange not to pick up the telephone and talk to MA this afternoon. She had come to Saint-Aignan a couple of times and met several of our neighbors. I had been traveling back to North Carolina to see her once or twice a year for the past 15 years, so I got to know many of her friends and neighbors. We had a lot of people we enjoyed talking about — not to mention all the members of our extended family. RIP, MA.
My mother's birthday was February 16. She left us in 1999 from cancer. She will always be with me. I am sure your mother will always be with you.
ReplyDeleteMy mother and I were close enough together in age that in later years we could become friends. I'll miss her and her friends in N.C.
ReplyDeleteYes, Reposez En Paix MA. Today is also the birthday of our friend Jeanine L. She is going to be 93. I won't be able to wish her a happy birthday because she has Alzheimer!
ReplyDeleteThanks, CHM. I'm so sorry about Jeanine. I'm happy that MA didn't have to suffer that indignity. I know you miss Jeanine, and I do too. I remember fondly that July weekend in the year 2000 when she was in Paris and Frank, Walt, and I were there too. We went up to the top of the Tour Montparnasse and enjoyed the panoramic views over Paris. And I remember our special times in Carteret too, with Andrée and Yolande. All those are days that I will never forget.
DeleteSo sorry to read this, Ken. Wishing you the sweetest of memories.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mitch.
DeleteNot phoning your mum on Sundays will be weird for quite a while I should imagine.
ReplyDeleteWithout a doubt. I wish you could have met her, and she you, but her last trip to France was in 2005.
DeleteI used to call my mom every noon, and every evening, to be sure that she had someone to talk to a few times every day, since she lived alone. That first school year that she was gone, it felt so strange to just have class end, and walk right in to lunch... instead of first picking up the phone.
ReplyDeleteMA decided in 2005 that she had had enough of living alone and isolated (since 1990) because all her neighbors were dying off. She sold her house and moved into a retirement community where she had many friends. I have really enjoyed getting to spend time with all those people over the past 13 years.
DeleteI now we know why you refer to her as MA instead of Ma.
ReplyDeleteYes, MA is (was?) Mary Allen. A lot of Southerners have double names.
DeleteFollowing my mother's death in 1994, for the two following years, I would reach for the phone to call her about something. Our loved ones die in dozens of ways.... In the end, you were blessed to have her for those 88 years.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Bob. My mother's death turned out to be sudden, since she did want to burden or worry me or my sister with her fears that her cancer had returned and spread. It had. Within two weeks, she stopped driving her car, withdrew within the four walls of her apartment in the retirement complex, and gave up the ghost. She was ready. I'm lucky that I was able to get there from France before she left us. She was the great support of my life.
DeleteSo glad she had a long life. My mom would have been 109 on Feb. 28th. She died when she was 88. I still would love to call her on the phone and lately have run across letters and cards she sent. Seeing her handwriting brings her back and she's always with me.
ReplyDeleteThey say our "self talk" that runs through our heads comes from our parents. If that is true I bet MA gave you your gentle and kind spirit and ability to get along with everyone. Bon courage.
Evelyn, MA loved you and Lewis. She spoke of you often — how nice and easy-going you two were when she saw you in Burlington and then in Morehead. She had fond memories of our visit to Atlanta too. I love seeing MA's handwriting, as you love seeing your mother's. MA had a good life, and a much longer one than she ever thought she would have. I'm glad she enjoyed the last dozen years in the retirement community she chose for herself back in 2005. You know, I would never have been able to come and get to love France but for her support, financial and moral. She wanted me to be who I wanted to be. That's the best kind of motherhood, no?
DeleteJ'adore ce que tu as écrit, mon Evelyn 💖 Je suis de tout coeur avec toi, Ami Ken 💐Je parle tous les jours à mes Parents car j'ai décidé que l'arbre seul au milieu d'un immense champ derrière notre lotissement abritait les âmes de mes Parents...Je leur dis donc bonjour et bonsoir en partant ou rentrant à la maison chaque jour... Et aussi en fermant mes volets le soir et en regardant le ciel... Croyance un peu animiste mais qui m'aide...
DeleteIt is a sad adjustment to make .. my mom was a young mom, only 16 years older than I .. I had just moved here to Florida to be close to her, she died a couple of weeks after I arrived. It is still hard to adjust to the fact . It is an odd thing .. missing your mom.
ReplyDeleteBecause she was so young when she had me, it seemed to me that we would grow old together .. in a way.
I miss her.
My mother turned 19 two weeks before I was born. I feel like she and I did grow old together. I hope I can live to be 87 or 88 years old. Unfortunately, we don't get to choose. Sorry your mother departed so soon after you arrived.
DeleteThoughts are with you Ken. As you know, Leon's dad died last year at 96, while we were on our way to France. I know Sunday afternoons are still a sad time as he always rang his dad then.
ReplyDeleteNinety-six is not just respectable, as ages go, but amazing. Sundays will never be the same.
DeleteSo sorry to learn about your loss, Ken. I've rather stopped reading blogs the last few years and just had an urge to check in to see what was going on in your life; I wish it was better news and your close relationship with your mother could have continued for even longer.
ReplyDeleteThanks for leaving a comment, Shelli. Except for my mother's passing, things with us here in Saint-Aignan are fine. Now if springtime will just come early, we'll be happy.
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